{"id":421,"date":"2015-11-02T12:33:09","date_gmt":"2015-11-02T11:33:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/elainekonopka.com\/?p=421"},"modified":"2015-11-04T13:58:32","modified_gmt":"2015-11-04T12:58:32","slug":"pleurer-quelle-est-la-limite","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elainekonopka.com\/fr\/pleurer-quelle-est-la-limite\/","title":{"rendered":"Pleurer : Quelle est la limite ?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Too many teardrops<\/em><\/p>\n

For one heart to be crying<\/em><\/p>\n

Too many teardrops<\/em><\/p>\n

For one heart to carry on\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

— Question Mark & the Mysterians, \u201c96 Tears\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

J\u2019ai eu une histoire avec un gar\u00e7on qui avait la f\u00e2cheuse habitude d\u2019accueillir mes larmes d\u2019un simple mot (presque une menace, en fait)\u00a0: \u00ab\u00a0Ne commence pas\u00a0\u00bb. \u00c7a a march\u00e9 une fois \u00e0 la perfection. Devant ce mur de briques verbal, j\u2019ai arr\u00eat\u00e9 physiquement ce que je sentais monter \u00e0 l\u2019int\u00e9rieur. Mais comme les murs suscitent en moi l\u2019envie irr\u00e9pressible de leur rentrer dedans t\u00eate la premi\u00e8re, la fois o\u00f9 il recommen\u00e7a fut la toute derni\u00e8re. Il arrive que le besoin de pleurer ne soit pas n\u00e9gociable.<\/p>\n

Il resterait \u00e0 voir d\u2019un point de vue scientifique si les \u00eatres humains sont les seuls animaux \u00e0 pleurer en guise de r\u00e9ponse \u00e9motionnelle. Mais que nous soyons exceptionnels ou non dans les pleurs, je parie que nous sommes champions pour compliquer les choses.<\/p>\n

Dans mon travail d\u2019enseignement de prise de conscience corporelle, j\u2019ai trouv\u00e9 que, consciemment ou inconsciemment, la plupart des gens ont leur id\u00e9e de ce qui constitue des pleurs appropri\u00e9s et se limitent en cons\u00e9quence. Certains ne verseront jamais une larme. D\u2019autres, apr\u00e8s un certain nombre de minutes, d\u2019heures ou de crises de larmes, d\u00e9cident que \u00e7a suffit et ont recours \u00e0 ce que le Dr Ad Vingerhoets, psychologue clinique et expert en pleurs, appelle des \u00ab\u00a0strat\u00e9gies de r\u00e9gulation d\u2019\u00e9motions\u00a0\u00bb, ce qui comprend la suppression des larmes, la tentative de para\u00eetre heureux et les efforts pour respirer diff\u00e9remment.<\/p>\n

Ces strat\u00e9gies se manifestent souvent dans les s\u00e9ances avec mes clients. Ils en arrivent \u00e0 un point o\u00f9 il est \u00e9vident qu\u2019ils ont besoin de verser des larmes, selon qu\u2019ils ressentent de la tristesse, de la frustration, de la peine ou sont profond\u00e9ment \u00e9mus. Quelques-uns se laissent aller mais nombreux sont ceux (hommes et femmes) qui freinent \u2013 serrant les fesses, contractant leur m\u00e2choire, coupant leur respiration. Quand je leur demande de pr\u00eater attention \u00e0 cette r\u00e9sistance, de l\u00e2cher prise et de laisser leur corps faire ce qu\u2019il veut, surgissent alors leurs craintes et croyances au sujet des pleurs\u00a0:<\/p>\n

C\u2019est si b\u00eate\u00a0! Ce n\u2019est rien\u00a0! Je ne devrais pas pleurer pour \u00e7a.<\/em><\/p>\n

J\u2019ai d\u00e9j\u00e0 trop pleur\u00e9 pour \u00e7a.<\/em><\/p>\n

Si je commence, je ne vais plus m\u2019arr\u00eater.<\/em><\/p>\n

Si je pleure, c\u2019est de la faiblesse.<\/em><\/p>\n

Si je pleure, c\u2019est qu\u2019il \/ elle a gagn\u00e9.<\/em><\/p>\n

Les gens normaux ne pleurent pas comme \u00e7a\u2026 N\u2019est-ce pas\u00a0?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Et voil\u00e0 ce mot d\u00e9licat\u00a0: \u00ab\u00a0normal\u00a0\u00bb\u00a0– le groupe rassurant dont tant de gens ont envie de faire partie.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

D\u00e9finir la \u00ab\u00a0normale\u00a0\u00bb<\/strong><\/h5>\n

En 2013, le Dr Vingerhoets et ses coll\u00e8gues ont lanc\u00e9 une \u00c9tude Internationale sur les Pleurs des Adultes, en rassemblant les donn\u00e9es de 2497 hommes et 3218 femmes dans 37 pays. Ils ont trouv\u00e9 des diff\u00e9rences sur la fr\u00e9quence des pleurs reposant sur le sexe (en Australie, en Nouvelle-Z\u00e9lande et aux \u00c9tats-Unis, les hommes pleuraient le plus tandis qu\u2019au Nig\u00e9ria, en Malaisie et en Bulgarie, ils pleuraient le moins\u00a0; les femmes pleuraient plus en Su\u00e8de, au Chili et aux \u00c9tats-Unis et moins au Nig\u00e9ria, au Ghana et au N\u00e9pal), la richesse du pays (on a rapport\u00e9 plus de larmes vers\u00e9es dans les pays ais\u00e9s que dans les pays pauvres) et m\u00eame sur la temp\u00e9rature annuelle moyenne (on a rapport\u00e9 plus de pleurs sous des climats froids que sous des climats plus chauds).<\/p>\n

Cependant, ces r\u00e9sultats ainsi que d\u2019autres passionnants n\u2019apportent toujours pas de r\u00e9ponse d\u00e9finitive \u00e0 la question de savoir \u00ab\u00a0jusqu\u2019o\u00f9 un adulte normal peut-il pleurer\u00a0?\u00a0\u00bb. De son c\u00f4t\u00e9, le Dr Vingerhoets conclut que \u00ab\u00a0nos \u00e9motions et la fa\u00e7on dont elles s\u2019expriment n\u2019ont pas une base biologique ferme mais sont fa\u00e7onn\u00e9es par notre culture. Les expressions de nos \u00e9motions, y compris les pleurs, n\u2019ont en soi pas de signification ni d\u2019explication en-dehors de leur contexte social direct\u00a0\u00bb.<\/p>\n

Nous ne pouvons donc parler d\u2019une \u00ab\u00a0normale\u00a0\u00bb universelle des pleurs\u00a0; nous pouvons au mieux mesurer ce qui est la moyenne ou ce qui est commun au sein d\u2019un groupe de personnes tr\u00e8s particulier. Mais ce que nous pouvons apprendre de ces recherches est que quand on lutte pour ne pas pleurer, on bride une fonction naturelle du corps susceptible d\u2019offrir nombre de bienfaits.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Une larme pour chaque circonstance<\/strong><\/h5>\n

Techniquement, il y a trois sortes de pleurs, ou s\u00e9cr\u00e9tion de larmes\u00a0:<\/p>\n

Les larmes de base <\/strong>: Il s\u2019agit du liquide lacrymal qui produit la lubrification essentielle et constante de l\u2019\u0153il pour combattre les bact\u00e9ries. Ces \u00ab\u00a0larmes\u00a0\u00bb s\u2019\u00e9coulent continuellement \u00e0 la surface et se r\u00e9pandent habituellement jusqu\u2019\u00e0 la corn\u00e9e de l\u2019\u0153il.<\/p>\n

Lorsque quelque chose irrite l\u2019\u0153il (la fum\u00e9e, la poussi\u00e8re, les oignons), une protection d\u2019urgence se met en marche et le corps produit plus de liquide pour chasser la cause irritante. Ce liquide qui ne peut \u00eatre pris en charge par le syst\u00e8me habituel de drainage coule sur les joues sous forme de larmes r\u00e9flexes<\/strong>, qui accompagnent \u00e9galement des r\u00e9flexes physiques comme b\u00e2iller ou vomir.<\/p>\n

L\u2019inqui\u00e9tude au sujet de la \u00ab\u00a0normale\u00a0\u00bb concerne les larmes \u00e9motionnelles<\/strong> ou induites par le stress qui, on le sait, sont d\u00e9clench\u00e9es par le chagrin, la douleur physique ou la joie. L\u2019int\u00e9ressant est que la composition chimique de ces larmes est diff\u00e9rente des deux autres sortes.<\/p>\n

Toutes les larmes contiennent une enzyme appel\u00e9e lysozyme qui tue 90 \u00e0 95% de toutes les bact\u00e9ries oculaires en moins de dix minutes. Voil\u00e0 qui est d\u00e9j\u00e0 assez fantastique, mais il y a mieux\u00a0: compar\u00e9es aux larmes r\u00e9flexes, les larmes \u00e9motionnelles contiennent 24% de plus d\u2019hormones \u00e0 base des prot\u00e9ines que produit le corps en \u00e9tat de stress, selon le Dr William H. Frey, un biochimiste qui a men\u00e9 des \u00e9tudes r\u00e9volutionnaires sur les pleurs dans les ann\u00e9es 80. Ce qui veut dire que lorsqu\u2019on se permet de pleurer pour des raisons \u00e9motionnelles, les larmes rejettent des substances toxiques du corps, d\u2019une fa\u00e7on similaire \u00e0 la sueur ou \u00e0 l\u2019urine. S\u2019emp\u00eacher de pleurer peut augmenter le stress et contribuer \u00e0 aggraver les maladies qui y sont li\u00e9es, tels la pression art\u00e9rielle, les probl\u00e8mes cardiaques et les ulc\u00e8res.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Un mouchoir, s\u2019il vous pla\u00eet<\/strong><\/h5>\n

Le fait que les pleurs \u00e9motionnels soient affect\u00e9s non seulement par la biologie mais aussi par des influences culturelles signifient que nos croyances sur les pleurs \u2013 notre inqui\u00e9tude au sujet de notre normalit\u00e9 \u2013 peuvent conduire \u00e0 l\u2019inhibition automatique d\u2019une r\u00e9action corporelle parfaitement normale. Lorsqu\u2019on retient sa respiration ou qu\u2019on contracte son ventre pour s\u2019emp\u00eacher de pleurer, on coupe son corps de sa mani\u00e8re naturelle d\u2019\u00e9vacuer le stress.<\/p>\n

La prochaine fois que vous sentirez une vague de pleurs approcher, pr\u00eatez attention \u00e0 la fa\u00e7on dont vous r\u00e9agissez. Si vous remarquez que vous vous retenez quelque part, essayez de voir ce qui se passe si vous vous laissez aller \u2013 et cela inclut laisser aller tout ce que vous pourriez vous dire \u00e0 propos de ce qui est en train de se passer. Pleurer n\u2019est pas une action mentale. C\u2019est physique. \u00c0 votre corps de d\u00e9cider s\u2019il en a besoin et si tel est le cas, livr\u00e9 \u00e0 lui-m\u00eame, c\u2019est lui qui saura combien est assez.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n
Elaine Konopka<\/h5>\n

Elaine Konopka est fondatrice de The Attentive Body (Le corps attentif), qui offre des s\u00e9ances individuelles de conscience corporelle et de gestion de la douleur \u00e0 Paris.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Too many teardrops For one heart to be crying Too many teardrops For one heart to carry on\u2026 — Question Mark & the Mysterians, \u201c96 Tears\u201d   J\u2019ai eu une…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":419,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[80,76,72,79,78,48,82,68,77,83,75,42,81],"class_list":["post-421","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-la-vie","tag-chagrin","tag-conscience-corporelle","tag-depression","tag-deuil","tag-emotionnel","tag-emotions","tag-larmes","tag-normal","tag-pleurer","tag-sante","tag-separation","tag-stress","tag-tristesse"],"yoast_head":"\nPleurer : Quelle est la limite ? - Elaine Konopka<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Pourrait-on d\u00e9finir combien pleure-t-il un adulte "normal" ? 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